One Site. All Sports. Across the Globe.
It’s midterm week for many schools across the USA, and I thought it’d be a fun concept to connect what’s going on in school to what’s going on in the sports world. I created 3 classes, with 2 or 3 sports figures in each class. You’ll see the grade and “teacher’s” comments. Enjoy!
English with Ms. Erin Andrews:
Richard Sherman: A
Teacher’s Comments: Mr. Sherman, you’re a very bright young man, but sometimes I think you speak too much! You know what you’re talking about, and for 99% of the team you sound like the bright, well-spoken young man that you are. For that other 1%, when you’re either very happy or angry, another person comes out. You act like a madman! I’m not saying that I don’t agree with your excitement or the message that you put across, but try to stay calm and intelligent for 100% of the time! I know you don’t want people to judge you for something that you’re absolutely not, but by having your excited outbursts, you’re only throwing fuel into fire. If you fix that, you’ll be an A++ student in my class!
Marshawn Lynch: D+
Teacher’s Comments: Marshawn, I don’t know what to say to you. You give your all on my tests, and as you and your friends like to call it, you enter “beast mode”! But that’s just about it. While you excel on the final assignments, you’re performance is mediocre, at best, on the assignments leading up to that point. Sometimes, you sit in my class and don’t say one word, you appear so absent. Other times, you don’t show up. I know you’ve said that you only show up so you don’t get punished by Principal Goodell. Why don’t you try showing up for you? On the tests, you’re one of the top 3 performers in my class. Maybe if you showed up and paid attention in my class, and gave the class your input on occasion, you’d be the BEST performer in my class!
Jameis Winston: F
Teacher’s Comments: Jameis, I’ve seen what you can do on that football field. You’re a superstar, and I won’t take that away from you. But, with all due respect, you’re possibly the worst English student in the school. At last weekend’s football game against the Mobile Elephants, I heard their star quarterback’s girlfriend and mother making fun of the way you speak. They asked each other “does he even speak English”! While I don’t mean to be as cruel as those two ladies, I will say that you really need to work on your speaking skills. If you’re intelligent and a great athlete, then you propose the full package to the world! Try doing that!
Sports Management with Mr. Scott Boras:
Masahiro Tanaka: A+
Teacher’s Comments: Masahiro, I’m surprised that you’re a new student to this school. You’ve only been here for a week, but I can hear everyone around the school talking about your presence. The baseball coaches are saying that you’re our best pitcher in school history… Your classmates are saying that you won countless awards in your previous school and they can’t wait to see what you’ll do here… All of the teachers have heard how kind and intelligent you are. You’ve set some high standards for yourself, kid, and you better not let everyone down. In any case, in the week that you’ve been in my class, you’ve been excellent at sports management. When we were playing the Free Agent Mode of MLB 2K14, I saw the way you negotiated the heck out of those New York Yankees, and I’ve gotta give you some props kid. Now, don’t let everybody down! Just remember that…
Ruben Amaro Jr. (AKA “The Philadelphia Phillie” ): D-
Teacher’s Comments: Now, I know you like to be called by your nickname, “The Philadelphia Phillie”, but I’m going to have to call you by your real name. My apologies. Now Ruben, you’ve showed a lot of promise in the last few years. I saw the way you negotiated for our school baseball team. As an assignment for this class, you’ve brought in some great talent from other schools, like Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay. But this school year, you’ve really let the team down. So I hear that you lure these guys into our school with special gifts. I’m shocked that you wasted these gifts on old guys. Marlon Byrd and Carlos Ruiz are seniors, so you’re only getting one good year out of these guys. Come on, I thought you were better than that.
Music with Mr. Shaquille O’Neal
Victor Oladipo: A+
Teacher’s Comments: Victor, you’re a promising young kid. I see the way you dominate that JV basketball! Not to mention, I see your report card, and you’re excelling in your studies. Let’s talk my class though… I’ve never heard such a phenomenal voice as your own, or at least I wasn’t expecting it. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting you to be bad, but with your young age combining with your known athletic ability, I was shocked to hear such great singing from you. As you may or may not know, I was a pretty good basketball player in my day, and I dabbled in rap on the side. I’m glad to know that you’re on your way to joining my club of “Distinguished Athletes who are also Music Stars”. Hopefully you’ll stay as well rounded as you are today.
Shane Battier: A-
Teacher’s Comments: Mr. Battier, let’s get this out of the way- you are not a great singer. However, I see that you’re on the school’s honor roll, and I didn’t want my class to be the blemish on your record. So I wasn’t going to give you a poor grade, but that was for a poor reason. Then, I saw the karaoke event that you organized for your friends this past weekend. Not only was it a great cause, as you made sure that all proceeds went to charity, but I was very impressed with your management skills. You were able to persuade all of your friends to participate, and the rest of your acquaintances to attend and donate money. While your singing skills are adequate (at best), you use music to make the world better. I’m glad that my class had this impact on your life!